Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
