I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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