fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
