So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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