it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize