I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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