I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
