hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Randomize