things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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