I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize