Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
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