I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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