3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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