At least make sure they are 18
Why
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
