you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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