I don't usually arrange sex via text message
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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