i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm like, not good at living.
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