How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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