why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Be still, my beating vagina.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
