she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
