How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
