If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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