I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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