is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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