he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
and she was petting her beer can
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
