Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize