He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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