the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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