I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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