yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
my nose is crying tears of wow.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
