Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
