So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
