Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
