The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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