At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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