So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
