then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
