Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
she looked like the before picture.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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