I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize