i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
