Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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