I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize