goodnight i made you a song goodbye
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
