so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
