he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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