I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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