Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
no. you can't hotbox the world.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
