No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
