omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
