i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
