How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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