ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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