guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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