you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
