I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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