my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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